I COULD CHEW ON THIS: and other poems by dogs by Francesco Marciuliano

Last year, the world was taken by storm by Francesco Marciuliano's I Could Pee On This: and Other Poems by Cats, reviewed here in January, 2013. This year, Marciuliano has followed up with the ever-so-slightly less clever I Could Chew on This: and Other Poems by Dogs, featuring an awful lot of poems about chewing, eating and throwing up, as well as things like dog embarrassment, separation anxiety, and more.

The book is divided into four chapters: Inside, Outside, By Your Side, and Heavy Thinking, which contains one of the most poignant poems in this mostly humorous book. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Each chapter page includes a maxim of sorts, and the one for "Inside" is possibly my favorite:

We were wolves once
Wild and wary
Then we noticed you had sofas
DOG DICTUM

Here's a two-page spread with the first poem in the book, "I Lose My Mind When You Leave The House", which pretty well sums up how (at least some) dogs react when their owners step outside:



When it comes to capturing dog thoughts to perfection, one of my favorite poems in the book has to be "Time", which is found in Chapter Three: "By Your Side".

Time

Where did you go?!
Where have you been?!
Do you know how long you've been gone?!
Three hours!
Or fifteen minutes
Or six months
The point it
I've been waiting at that door
For eighteen straight years
And every one of those twelve seconds killed me

Funny, but a bit bittersweet. If you want to go all the way to funny but poignant with bitter undertones, then I share with you what is possibly my favorite poem in the book, although it's nowhere near as light-hearted as most:

Chasing the Rabbit

And they're coming around the clubhouse turn
And they're coming down the final stretch
And they're coming across the finish line
And Number Five finishes in first place
And Number Five's owner spends his winnings
On hookers and Schlitz
And that is why there are no inspirational movies
About dog racing

Now that you are thinking (possibly) sad thoughts about greyhounds, I leave you with this somewhat more upbeat offering, straight from the book: